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Bettie
Project Type
Oil paint heavily laid on wet oil paint creating texture and depth using palette knives.
Date
2025
Project type
Oil on canvas
'The only way out is through'
'Bettie sat out side Target, it had a Starbucks (date unknown)'
'Bettie and Jayne throw hands in a Chuck E Cheese parking lot (1992)
'Bettie poked the universe and all she got was the moon on a stick.'
'Bettie went to church to teach god the first law of thermodynamics. "but.." said god, "you use science as a religion to justify cruelty, maybe you should stop and just look at the stars you were created in." Bettie takes a long drag on her cigarette.. "Maybe you just disproved your own existence? QED"...'
'All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.'
Bettie set out to steal the Epstein files to prove once and for all we're being gaslit by a bunch of deplorable sex offenders. "Turns out it was false news." Bettie said as she saw the black suv parked across the street. "Where did that red dot on my wall come from?"
'Bettie kept the furniture'
'Bettie entered the 7-Eleven and asked to see the manager whilst proudly holding the head of John the Baptist'
'Bettie pushed her tits out, pulled a duck face and thought "This might be total and utter nuclear annihilation, but its definitely going to get me more followers.".'
'Bettie made a sacrifice'
'Bettie came to vanquish Cthulhu, instead they became firm friends and regularly went for ice cream.'
'Bettie prepares to enter a McDonald's (1983)'
'Bettie did the big shop, she didn't want to.'
'Bettie did what she needed to do to be happy, she let others do what they needed to do to be happy. Bettie's world was a good place.'
'Bettie forgot how much she hated space travel. "But that cool spaceman sure has a beautiful rocket."
'Bettie went to the park and argued with a giant pigeon. It was one of those days.'
'Bettie lost herself in a crowd.'
'Through dangers untold... and hardships unnumbered... I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City... " I love it, wifi's a bit rubbish though.' Bettie thought.'
'Bettie went to Trader Joe's for oat milk and spicy mango habanero guacamole, but first she had to deal with that dragon.'
'As the bombs stopped and the dust settled, Bettie wept. "If only more people had put free (insert generic global conflict) in their bios."..'
'Today Bettie just kept on rolling.'
'Bettie respected people's rights to believe in anything, but she disliked tax dodging, misogynistic, abusers who think absolution comes from paying for forgiveness. She particularly disliked it when thier churches look like shopping malls. "(Insert generic deity) would not approve." Bettie said through gritted teeth.'
'Bettie had been gardening, badly. She looked at her large swollen legume and decided there and then to flick that bean.'
'Bettie needed a wiener, a really, really big wiener.She was ambivalent about the onion ring.'
'Jayne set out for revenge, but first she needed to train. "A true ninja knows not only how to move in the shadows, but how to be a shadow." she giggled
'Bettie reevaluated her life choices as she tore open yet another pack of Pokemon cards.'
'Bettie sat broken after realising this isn't the place she thought it would be.'
'Bettie leaves Home Depot annoyed that they'd sold out of disposable barbecues.'
'Bettie sneaks into the Taco Bell, Albany'
'Bettie has fun in the parking lot of the Long Island IKEA before purchasing KLIMPFJÄLL'
'Bettie goes to the gas station'
'Bettie contemplates stealing two cats'
'Bettie goes on an adventure'
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